Thursday, March 26, 2009

let me tell you a little story

This week has been....long....boring....blah.

We'll skip right past Monday because I definitely had a case of the Mondays......actually this week it was a case of the Mondays, Tuesday, and Wednesdays.
Tuesday was the big day - I was headin' to El Paso to pick up the new to me short bus (yes, short bus numero tres.)

So I leave the house around 7:00 am. I'm cruising in Short Bus numero dos - driving it back to Midland so they can have their van back......So i'm driving....driving....driving....stop for a dp....driving....finally get to Midland, return the van and head to the airport to pick up a car to drive the rest of the way....while I'm telling this part of the story keep in mind that I'm 6'2" and my legs are long. So, I requested an intermediate sized car thinking it be a altima or similar....but....that was not the case......she said 2 words to me and i laughed and said you can't be serious......Here's what they had me pimpin to El Crappo:

This is the same color as the one I drove...It matches my eyes - how cute!! BLAH's a Toyota Prius......that's right....a Prius (remember me saying I am 6'2". I was hacked but had to laugh it off.....I looked like a fat guy in a little coat driving around in this thing. I actually went back in after I saw it and told the lard this vehicle was not big enough and she responded - it's a full size vehicle - NO MAAM - If I can lay down and be almost as tall as it is long - that's not a full size vehicle.....She said, we have no other cars - you can wait a few hours and see if something comes off I went in the Prius......that thing sucked!!!

So, I decided it was time to get some food........At least being in Midland/Odessa area I got to eat at one of my favorite fast food joints:

Ohhhhh yeah, the ever so amazing Taco Villa - it's probably been about 7 years since I've had the opportunity to eat at one of these bad boys! So, that mad my trip a little better.

Back on the road I went, full stomach, full dr pepper, and I was rollin - crusin' in the Prius. I tried sitting every which way I could think of to get was impossible.....My head was dang near to the roof, the seat all the way back, leanin' back (cause I'm ghetto like that - not really, but that's the only way I could fit) but nothing was comfortable.

By this time it was already 12:30 pm - I figured I'd get to El Paso around 4:30 - no big deal, get back to Midland around 8:30 and be ready for bed......needless to say that didn't happen. The speed limit once you get about 20 miles west of odessa is 80 - which was awesome - made the trip go by faster.....all there is out that way is a bunch of nothing and some 3 foot tall trees until you get to Van Horn (big city of 2300 or so) then you start to see some "mountains" which gives you something to look at.

So there I am - crusing about 82, getting closer to El Paso.....about 17 miles out to be exact when I see what everyone hates to see - a DPS officer going the opposite way hit their brakes and buts a u turn in the median....crap is kinda what i was thinking......yeah, I got pulled the Prius....for speeding......isn't that just fantastic. Apparently I didn't see the sign 12 miles back that the speed limit changed from 80 back to 70 - my bad, my entire body was numb and I was just hoping and praying to make it to El Crappo.

So, he asked for my insurance and license - here ya ga.....Turn off the vehicle sir, I'm trying mr. officer, but this car is wack and it took me a few minutes to remember how to turn it off. Step out of the car sir, okie dokie

You in a hurry? No Sir, how fast was i driving. 82 mph - ok, what's the speed limit....70 - ahhh....crap.....when did it change....12 miles back.....yeah that's my fault.....Guess I completely missed it.

Here is a list of questions this polite copper asked me:

You ever been arrested.....No

You ever been in trouble with the law.....No

You have any illegal drugs?.....No

You have any illegal weapons.....No

You have large sums of money......No (I wanted to say I wish - but figured that'd be bad)

You ever been arrested.....DIDN"T YOU ALREADY ASK ME THIS?!?!?! No

Would you mind if i looked in your car?'s a prius - that won't take long.....No

What are you doing in El Paso.......Picking up a van to drive back to Abilene (which.....might have been the wrong thing to say given the fact that El Paso has a high crime rate and lots of vans used for certain illegal activities)

Why are you picking up a van.....Mine broke and this is the closest extra they had....

Sir, take off your sunglasses.....oh yeah, that's why it was so dark

Who do you work for....Safety-Kleen

What do you do....>Sales

What does your company do......dispose of illegal narcotics (that'd been funny)

I'm only going to give you a warning - HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!

So, I got back in the prius - thankful to be getting a warning and laughing my rear off for getting pulled over while in a prius - awesome.

I finally made it to El Paso, picked up the new to me short bus (which is HUGE so now it's deemed either the Long Bus or the Safety-Kleen limo: Picture:


That's one HUGE dent - we kicked it out a little though - looks brand new:)

So, finally around 6:15 pm I was back on the road.....after dropping off the Prius....thankfully.....driving back to Midland (about 375 miles) in my pimped out van with no cruise control. About 9 pm I was starving and hadn't gone to the bathroom since I left El Paso (210 miles) - so I arrive in Pecos - man it's a crazy little ghetto town. Found a sonic and a Flyin' J's Truck stop - gave me a nice little break.....only 150 miles left to the hotel.

Finally around 11:30 pm I pulled up at the hotel....only 16 1/2 hours after I started this little road trip. I was so excited - my eyes were friendand my legs/back/body were tired.

The next morning I got up around 8:30 to head back to Abilene - man, I have never been so excited to see Abilene - no driving for me for a while (well, until next week)

Side note: leaving your ipod in your truck when you're traveling 450 plus miles is a bad idea......there's not a lot to listen too when you get past odessa......some talk radio which you can hear every other word, or spanish on one other station.......i was bored out of my mind.

So, if you ever decide you want to drive to el's my there or pick some where else to's way the crap out there.

I hope everyone has had a blessed week.....mine has been long but luckily God blessed me with safe travels.

1 comment:

M said...

I'm THRILLED that you've got a "limo" to drive now.

I'll have to come visit and sit in the back, "Driving Miss Daisy" style!

TACO VILLA, for the win! It's been a while for me, too... and I live closer to the dang places. I know where I'll be eating next time I go to town.

I'm glad you made it safely, Jas! Sucks about the static radio... next time listen closer... you might find some ALIENS.

Love your guts!